The Patriot and His Country
by nisakeehl
Summary: When Alfred suddenly meets Garrett, a Patriot vampire, things get a little awkward. How are you supposed to explain that you're a country? What Garrett wants to know is what Alfred is, and poor Alfred just wants to get away from the vampire. Twilight/Hetalia crossover, Garrett/Alfred
1. Chapter 1

READ THE BLOODY AUTHOR'S NOTE. *cough* Anywho, some of you may be asking "Why? Who the _hell_ would ever come up with this?!" WELL I DID, BECAUSE WHY NOT. I seriously hate Twilight, but I have to say that the last movie was good. The best part, thank you very much, was the Patriot vampire -sexgod- Garrett. I am literaly in love with this guy right now. HE. IS. JUST. SO. PERFECT. If you have no idea who the hell Garrett is, well- he's a vampire Patriot. If any Twilight fans are reading this and asking who the hell Alfred/America is, he's the personification of the good 'ole USA. Arthur is England. (TWILIGHT FANS- JUST GO AND WATCH HETALIA, LEIK NOW.) Okay, enough talking. Please remember to review~!

**Disclaimer:** I own neither Twilight or Hetalia

**Warnings:** slight Garrett/America

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"I hate rainy days."

Alfred Jones stood on the corner of the street, his hands it his pockets. A frown was sketched upon the American's face, taunt and grim. The light turned green, allowing him to cross. Song lyrics floated down the street, high pitched and annoying.

"_Baby you light up my world like nobody else, The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed, But when you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tell, You don't know, Oh oh, You don't know you're beautiful~_!"

Alfred scowled, shooting daggers towards the young girl who was singing at the top of her lungs. Stupid England, punishing him for creating Hannah Montana… it was almost as bad as Canada's Beiber wrath.

He continued walking, trying to ignore the sheets of rain. He sighed, knowing that when he got home he would most likely spend the night alone, maybe watching T.V.-

A scream interrupted the American's thoughts, forcing him back into focus. Alfred whirled around, sprinting to where the screams where coming from.

"H-help me! Monster!"

Alfred skidded around the corner, and into the alley. A man stood there, hovering over a bloody mass of a body. He had dark brown hair, with wavy light brown highlights. The man turned around to face Alfred. His face was covered in blood, eyes bright red and glowing.

"I hated the first British invasion, but somehow this one is even worse."

His voice was gravelly and smoky, a smell of blood and beer in his breath. With inhuman speed, he grabbed Alfred's arm, pulling him closer.

Alfred was frozen in shock, not believing his eyes. A _vampire_? And a _Patriot_ at that? Alfred racked his brain for any remembrance of the man from the war.

"You're one of the ten soldiers who was attacked and killed!"

It flew out of Alfred's mouth before he could think. The vampire raised an eyebrow, looking mildly surprised. He let Alfred go, running a hand through his shaggy hair.

"Do I know you from the Revolutionary War? You're obviously not a vampire though; I can hear your heart beating."

Alfred took a step back, staring at the man warily. There was no way he could just come out and say, "_Cool dude, I'm America! Ya know, the country you were fighting for_?". That would probably just get him killed.

"I'm Alfred Jones, and I uh- am not a vampire." America laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his head.

"So how did you know that I was one of those killed soldiers?" the vampire's voice got lower, hinting at distrust and suspicion.

"Research?" Alfred squeaked, hoping the Patriot would just leave him alone.

"Alfred Jones, hm? The name's familiar. You sure I don't know you?"

"_Garrett... that was his name. The soldier who was never found after his fellow soldiers were destroyed." _ Alfred thought to himself, eyes narrowing. How was he going to get out of this one?

"A commander. That's what you were. You were up in the high ranks with Mr. Washington." Garrett smiled wolfishly. "-but, just how are you alive Commander Jones?"

Alfred grit his teeth, wondering what to say. The soldier obviously remembered him, which was obviously, not a good thing. "I'm his great-great-great- many greats grandson." He said quickly, lying through his teeth. "_Please buy it, please just let it go-"_

In one fluid movement Garrett broke Alfred's neck, a smile on his lips.

"Well Commander Jones, let's see if you ever wake up."

(About 5 hours past)

Alfred woke up in a cold room, surrounded by big fluffy blankets. His neck and head hurt like a bitch, but he knew he would feel better soon. The American's blue eyes fluttered open, taking in the harsh light.

"Ah, so you are alive!" Garrett's voice called from beside the bed, Alfred just imagining the smirk on his face.

"What the fuck was that for, jackass?" Alfred hissed, rubbing his neck "-that hurt like a bitch."

"I wanted to see if you would come back alive." The Patriot grinned, getting to his feet and leaning closer to the bed. "Just what are you, Commander Jones? You're not a vampire; you wouldn't have a beating heart. But a regular human would have died from getting their neck snapped."

"It's Alfred." America growled, over with this little game. "-and I'm a fucking country. You pretty much just snapped the neck of the country you fought for."

"A country?" Garrett exclaimed, sounding overly amused with the whole ordeal. "So there's an immortal person for each country?"

"Overall, yeah." Alfred sat up, glaring at the soldier.

"So that means that there's an England? So we kicked his fancy little ass in the war?"

"Shut the hell up." America spit, eyes livid. "It's not as simple as that."

"Oh, did you love Mr. England?" the Patriot teased, face set in a grin. "Did the poor old man cry?"

Alfred was off the bed in an instant, arm wrapped around the vampire's neck.

"Say something like that, and your head comes off."

"Tch, how horrible. The great USA falling for a little island in Europe." He retorted, not happy with his current position.

"I never said that I was in love, you bastard."

"It would be better to fall for one of your own men, then an enemy." Garrett sighed, forcing Alfred's arms off.

"It's not like that anymore dude. Arthur and I are friends, not enemies. I think you might be stuck in the past."

"So the redcoat's name is Arthur, huh? Lucky man, getting such a big country like you to obey his every command. Should I just call the states the 50 colonies now?"

"If you don't shut up Garrett, I'm snapping your stupid neck." Alfred's eye twitched.

Garrett made a noise of inpatients, flipping Alfred around and grabbing his face.

"This is what I fought for? You could have at least been a bit cuter." The Patriot smirked, eyes glowing playfully. "-but instead I get this mean jerk who threatened to hurt me."

Alfred's face grew tomato red, eyes sparking. "I'm not _cute_, you judgmental dick."

Garrett made a move for his lips, pressing them together with his own.

"Yeah, but you're pretty cute like that." He smiled devilishly. Alfred spluttered, bright pink, eyes wide with shock.

In a second the Patriot was gone and out the window, the only remainder of him was the smell of beer and smoke.

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I totally support this pairing now. -dies- I DON'T CARE IF NO ONE ELSE SUPPORTS IT, I WILL GO DOWN WITH THIS SHIP. Please remember to review~! ^u^

- Nisa Keehl


	2. Chapter 2

Oh hey look I'm back my lovelies. And I have brought a gift with me :D Yes, I am making this a multi-chapter fic now dammit. / not like I have 2947237432 other fanfics I need to update lol/ Anywho, I decided that I just love this pairing too much to let it go. I am very happy that many of you agree :) Might be a bit short for this chapter, but meh, it's better than nothing, right? Remember to be a dear and review, it will motivate me to add more ;3

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Hetalia, Twilight, or Coca Cola

**Warnings**: Alfred being a precious bby might cause cavities

* * *

It's not like the great Alfred F. Jones couldn't stop thinking about Garrett the patriot-vampire or anything. He wasn't like a middle school girl crushing on the high school senior, 'cause that would be ridiculous. But no matter what the poor nation did /or thought/ the cheeky soldier wouldn't leave his thoughts alone.

After leaving the cold apartment he had awoken in (and stealing the fluffy blanket that smelled like Garrett) he had gone straight home, and stocked up on wooden stakes. Since Alfred was a hero, he would save the people of his country from the evil fangs of Garrett -the- Patriot vampire. But when he saw the dark brown haired man again, it was totally unexpected.

Alfred rubbed his eyes, stretching in the pale light of the morning. He swung his legs over the edge of his king-sized bed, slipping on his batman slippers and padding downstairs for some chestnut coffee. The first thing that he noticed though, was the smell. It wafted from the living room, crystal clear and tantalizing.

_Beer and smoke._

_ Garrett?_

"Hey princess, you up? I see you stole my blanket."

His voice was exactly the same as last time, the same as in his dreams. The same rough, dark voice that sent shivers through the American's body.

"Garrett, why the hell are you in my house?" Was all the poor country could manage, almost tripping downstairs to get to the living room. He rounded the corner, making Garrett snort with laughter. Alfred's hair was still messy from sleeping, his eyes unclear and shiny. His old Coca Cola t-shirt was scrunched up around his waist, blue boxers hanging off of his hips.

"What, are you saying you aren't glad to see me?" The vampire gasped mockingly, throwing in a dramatic hair flip. Alfred's bottom lip jutted out, obviously not happy with the teasing.

"Well, the last time I saw you, you snapped my neck." He grumbled, crossing his arms. Garrett was in front of him in a flash, a small smirk on his face. Alfred turned red, stumbling back from the sudden closeness.

"You sure that's all that happened?" Garrett grinned, enjoying the sounds of embarrassment from the other.

"And you made fun of Arthur?" He offered, eyes flicking around, to anywhere _but_ the man in front of him.

"Not something like… this?"

It was over in about two seconds, but to Alfred, the little peck on the cheek was a hell lot longer. Then they were suddenly upstairs, and in Alfred's room.

" HOLYFUCKWAIT-!" Alfred screeched, stumbling to the ground and yelling curses.

"What? I just want to get my blanket that you took…." Garrett's eyebrows rose suggestively. The Patriot enjoyed the nation's shocked spluttering before grabbing his waist and lifting him up. Alfred's face was still extremely red, quite terrified and humiliated.

"Well then take it you bastard, and get out of my house!" The country exclaimed, throwing the cloth at the other. Garrett caught it easily, a small smile forming on his lips. Damn, it was just too easy to get a reaction.

"Actually, I seem to be homeless right now. Mind if I crash in the spare room downstairs?"

It was a total lie, but the sarcastic vampire was far from done with the American. And also, it wasn't like Alfred would say no to a former patriot, vampire or not.

The gears seemed to be working in the countries head, mixed emotions splayed out on his face. Finally he answered with a defeated, "Fine, but if you touch me I'll stab you."

And so that was how Garrett came to live with Alfred.

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Ohohoho~ So many things I could do with these two ;) Leave suggestions on what I should do next~! Reviewing makes Garrett a very happy little vampire, btw.

- Nisa Keehl


	3. Chapter 3

Oh goodness, I love these two. So happy that many people agree with me ;) Also, send your responses on what the pairing name will be~ If you see any errors, have some suggestions, etc, then feel free to PM me. Remember to be a dear and review~!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Hetalia, Twilight, or Sharpies

**Warnings**: cavity-inducing cuteness :)

* * *

Alfred survived for about two weeks before he exploded.

He had good reasons of course, like the fact that Garrett's smell was everywhere, Garrett wouldn't stop casually touching him, and Garrett wouldn't leave his fantasies. Not like that last one actually happened, nope. No daydreaming about Garrett at all, no sir. But Garrett seemed to know that these things were bothering the American to no end, so of course he continued to do it. After a while they became more suggestive, like one morning Alfred woke up to find Garrett at the foot of his bed, staring at him. Garrett also made lewd remarks over everything, and nothing Alfred said couldn't be turned sexual.

So the thing that crossed the line?

Alfred woke up with "GARRETT'S PROPERTY; WARNING: FRAGILE" across his forehead. It was even in permanent marker. So after screaming at the vampire for two hours, Alfred grabbed his cellphone, stalked upstairs and locked himself in the bathroom.

When Alfred had a problem, he had three people he could call. First being Arthur, the second being Matthew, and the third being Francis. But since Alfred knew Arthur had tons of knowledge about vampires, the Brit was the first he called.

"_Alfred, what did you do this time_?"

"Why do you always assume that I did something, what if I just wanted to say hello-?"

"_Save the excuses, and tell me what you did_."

"Don't, uh- freak out, but I kinda have a little vampire problem-"

"_Alfred Foster Jones, did I just hear you tell me that you had a vampire problem_?!"

Oh god, now Arthur was pissed. The only person that _ever_ called Alfred by his full name was Arthur, and that was only if he was very_, very_ mad.

"-maybe…? But Artie, it's fine, he isn't gonna kill me-"

"_I am going to skin you alive and then feed your flesh to a bear and then kill the bear and have it rot and feed it to a shark and then blow up that shark-_"

"Woah dude, I just wanted some advice, don't kill me-"

"- _I swear you are the only person I know who is this idiotic_-"

"Arthur man, you gotta calm down, don't want you to have a heart attack-"

"_I am driving right bleeding now to the airport and getting on the next flight to your place. I swear to hell, do not you dare fucking die_."

And with that, Arthur Kirkland hung up on a very confused, and panicked Alfred. The thought of Arthur in the same room with a British-murdering-patriot-vampire was downright scary. Scarier, because he was pretty sure Arthur would win.

Alfred groaned, ignoring the sharpie on his face, and reluctantly left the bathroom. Like he expected, Garrett stood right outside of the door, leaning on the wall. In his hand was a sharpie, making Alfred shiver with fear. Oh god, what next, more scribbles on his damaged face?

"Here, now it's your turn." Garrett said, surprising the American by handing him the marker. Alfred took it suspiciously, eyeing the vampire warily.

And with a fast breeze, Garrett and Alfred were suddenly downstairs on the couch, the sharpie cap opened and aimed towards the vampire's face. Alfred didn't even flinch, now being used to Garrett randomly whisking him off to different places. He did though, raise an eyebrow in the position they were in. He straddled the vampire's hips snuggly, and too his horror, almost perfectly. Garrett just grinned, a glint in his eyes. So Alfred just ignored it, and started doodling a moustache on the patriot's face.

But little did he know, Garrett had his own sharpie, and was currently planning what to draw on the unsuspecting Alfred's face.

And so now Alfred was underneath the patriot, back against the arm rest and a vampire now straddling his own hips.

"Hey! So not fair, I wasn't done drawing that!" Alfred huffed, crossing his arms. His eyes got a bit wide though, when noticing the offending marker. "Garrett, you already drew something on me you jackass, get the hell off of me-"

"No, I think I quite like this position. I'd like to stay like this for a little while longer, thank you very much."

"Bitch."

"Jerk."

And so they did for about another hour, Alfred giving up and letting Garrett draw all over him.

"Garrett, I am fucking exhausted since _someone_ wouldn't let me sleep last night, so at least have a little decency and let me go up to my room." Alfred whined, hitting the vampire's chest. Garrett just rolled his eyes, but threw the marker over his shoulder.

"Fine then you big baby, but at least let me carry you upstairs~"

Oh, but Alfred knew what Garrett was going to do. He would carry him upstairs (bridal-style, to make it worse) but then refuse to leave. Instead, the vampire would worm under the sheets _with_ him, and stay there _all night long_.

"Oh hell no, I know what you plan to do. So I am going to go upstairs on my own, get into my room alone, and you can stay _downstairs_."

Garrett pouted, plan obviously foiled.

"You're no fun."

And then Garrett was carrying the American anyway, ignoring Alfred's cries of protest. But instead of heading upstairs, he went to his (guest) bedroom and flopped Alfred on to it.

"Fucking _hell _Garrett, I just want to freaking sleep you ass." Alfred groaned, giving the vampire his best glare. But he just smiled in response, flipping off the lights. The room was plunged into darkness, the only sound his own heartbeat. And now Alfred was _actually_ scared, and wishing that he had a stake right about now.

"G-Garrett, this isn't funny anymore, turn on the damn lights-"

"But I thought you wanted to sleep?" a voice came from right next to him, making the American jump.

"Well yeah, but in my own room _by myself_."

The only response was two strong arms wrapping around him and Garrett's head nestling in the crook of his shoulder.

"Sorry, no can do~"

Great, now he wasn't going to sleep tonight either.

* * *

Fufufufuffuffufufu~ oho, I love them so much ;) Next chapter Artie will be coming in (heuhehehe) so of course happenings will happen. If you review though, I'll send you pictures~~~

- Nisa Keehl


	4. Chapter 4

Guys seriously so far there has only been 3 chapters and there's 27 reviews seriously skdjaosihfds I love you all okay. For a present, you guys get another chapter ouo. I have no idea how far I'm going to take this, and I've kind of run out of ideas? So if any of you have any plots, I would be forever grateful if you shared them with me in a review :)

**Disclaimer:** I obviously don't own Hetalia, or Twilight.

**Warnings:** Cursing, and an angry monster *cough*Arthur*cough*

* * *

Nightmares are a fickle thing. No one can control when they happen, and you never know what will come next. Maybe you'll end up waking up, gasping for breath while a cool sweat breaks out. Or maybe you'll stay in the horrid dream, thrashing and muttering all the while. Either way,nightmares are never a good thing.

There is though, a large difference between nightmares and night terrors

A **night terror**, also known as a **sleep terror** or _**pavor nocturnus**_, is a parasomnia disorder, causing feelings of terror or dread, and typically occurring in the first few hours of sleep. It is a sleep disorder characterized by abnormal sleep behaviors. Parasomnias involve unconscious complex, semi-purposeful, and goal-directed behaviors that have meaning or importance to the individual.

A **nightmare** is a terrifying dream in which the dreamer experiences feelings of helplessness, extreme anxiety, sorrow, etc.

When Alfred was just a kid, still living with England and still a small colony he had reacurring nightmares. This happened until Arthur got fed up with the lack of sleep, and took him to a doctor in England. The doctor diagnosed him with a parasomnia disorder, and in specifics, he had night terrors.

After that, the two got more used to the night terrors, and in time it seemed to disappear.

Alfred notice however, that they came back stronger and stronger when something bad was happening in his life. For example, during the Revolutionary War, he could barely sleep a wink. After years of technology though, Alfred started to take medicine to cut these sleeping horrors.

What Garrett didn't know, was that Alfred hadn't taken one of the pills in three days. With all the stress that Alfred had been in from the new guest, it wasn't that surprising that he woke up in the middle of the night next to a thrashing, screaming Alfred.

"A-Alfred?! Whoa kid, stop kicking me, calm the fuck down, jesus christ-"

There was another wail, sounding like an animal being tortured. This stopped the vampire in his tracks, concern finally filling his eyes. He quickly got up, flipping on the lights hoping that that would wake the screaming American up.

Instead, it had the opposite effect, and for reasons Garrett couldn't understand, the screaming _got louder_.

And so Garrett, totally freaked out and confused, started apologizing over and over, hoping that _maybe_ that would shut the blonde up.

After two hours, the sobbing finally slowed and now only sniffling was heard. Alfred's head finally popped up from the sheets, and glanced blearily at the patriot vampire across the room, who was sitting cross-legged on the floor.

"Hey Al, you okay?" Garrett asked cautiously, almost afraid that the American would break.

"What time is it?" Alfred asked, not bothering to answer the other's question.

"About three in the morning. But Alfred you-" Garrett faltered when noticing the horrified look on Alfred's face. "What? What's wrong?"

"We have at least twenty minutes to get you safely out of here." The blonde groaned, mumbling curses to himself.

"Wha-? Dude, it's like three in the freaking morning. You can't kick me out now." Garrett whined, picking at his shirt.

"Garrett, I'm saving your freaking life. Just shut up and get the hell outta here."Alfred rolled his eyes, flopping back down on the bed. "I'll make sure that old monster won't kill you."

"…. Are you still half-asleep or something? There _is _no monster coming-"

"Yeah man, and coming soon. That monster just happens to be my mom."

"…. You have a mother?"

"Well, he is male, but he totally gets after me like a mom so…"

"Please tell me England isn't coming here."

"Bingo."

"Godammit."

"Exactly, so get your vampire ass out of here."

"… can I slap him first?"

"No. Get out of here before I slap you."

And at that moment, having wasted Garrett's escape time, there was a loud knock on the front door.

"Shit, you're screwed now."

The was a loud bang, the sound of an angy-browed Brit kicking open the door himself.

"Alfred Foster Jones, you better come out _now_."

"Good luck soldier." Garrett grinned impishly, before saluting and whisking out the window.

"America, I am going to count to three, and you better be out here-"

"Coming mom." Alfred mumbled to himself, and went to go and face the demon that awaited him.

It took three long hours for Arthur to fully chew him out, including a lot of-

"What were you thinking, letting a vampire into your home-"

"I swear, one day I'm going to be washing pieces of you off of the wall-"

"I'm going to kill you, you prat-"

And the best part-

"What if he _raped_ you and you _got pregnant_, oh god, where did I go wrong-"

Until finally England calmed down enough to swat him gently on the head with a newspaper.

"You done yelling?" Alfred asked, rolling his eyes and standing up. "It's already six, so I'm going to make some coffee."

And so the American did, until he heard an angry screech and a large crash.

_And then came the yelling._

And sadly, there was no question from which the voices belonged to.

Garrett and Arthur had finally met.

* * *

I know, I'm mean for not continuing ;) I can just see Alfred having night terrors... it's just another one of my weird head-cannons~ Please pretty please, review~! You get to kiss Garrett if you dooo~~

- Nisa Keehl


	5. Chapter 5

Pssh, I haven't been gone for like 482374823 years. Nope, not at all. Hopefully you guys are still interested in this fic ^ ^" Anyway, I planned this to be the last chapter, unless multiple people express the want of more chapters. Please understand that I have about 5 fics that I _really_ need to finish. Other than that, please enjoy this delayed chapter! :) And also, I have an important message at the end! PLEASE READ~!

**Warnings: England and his filthy mouth ;)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia, Twilight, Keeping up with the Kardashians, Sherlock, or Doctor Who.**

* * *

Alfred felt himself go numb, the mug of coffee smashing to the floor and shattering to little pieces. He had been so stupid, so reckless, and now he would play for it. Even letting Arthur and Garrett into his house at the same time was a horrid idea.

And now poor Betty was in the same room as those monsters.

Betty; (aka his flat screen TV) was his pride and joy. Betty was his beautiful girl, and the love of his life. I mean really, she could play the football game and never get bored. Betty never judges him for the shows he watches (like _Keeping up with the Kardashians_, damn that show is perfect) and will stay up all night with him to watch_ Sherlock_.

"Betty, I'm coming to save you!" The American screeched and threw himself into the room. Alfred had been expecting blood to be everywhere, covering poor Betty. Instead he found himself in the middle of an intense glaring match. Arthur and Garrett were both sitting on the couch while shooting daggers at each other.

"So…Arthur…What's up?" Alfred asked nervously, failing to draw the Brit's attention away from the vampire. "Hey Garrett, would you mind going to make us some coffee?" He approached the situation differently, just trying to get the former patriot out of the room.

"The fact that you know who I am but are still here is either incredibly brave of extremely stupid." Arthur said coldly, ignoring the younger country altogether. Garrett's red eyes narrowed, sizing up the other.

"…guys?" Alfred tried again weekly, still worried about Betty's well-being. In a moment of stupidity he sat down between the two of them, now feel their heated gazes through him.

"I've heard of you, Arthur the vampire hunter. The thing is that I'm not afraid of you, and I could care less about what you think about me." Garrett said finally, taking Alfred's fingers and playing with them.

"So you're _obviously_ incredibly stupid. I assume that you know _what_ I am and _why_ I'm here to destroy you."

"Hey, I'm still here you know. And also, _this is my_ house so no "destroying" allowed." Alfred pouted, crossing his arms.

"Yeah, well I'm old so therefore I don't care." Arthur shrugged.

"_Artie_ that isn't _fair_." The younger complained. "You might get blood on Betty and then I would _cry_."

"You can cry _after_ I kill the vampire."

Garrett wrapped an arm around the American's waist, ignoring Arthur's sharp growl.

"There isn't any problem here, so you're free to leave." The former patriot yawned.

"Alfred's the one who called me for help." The Brit smirked, looking smug. "So obviously he doesn't want _you_ here."

"I actually don't want either of you here." Alfred muttered, still feeling ignored.

"He probably hasn't wanted you here since _that war_, huh?" Garrett smiled garishly, pinching Alfred's waist. The younger shrunk back slightly, elbowing the vampire in the gut.

"_Garrett you idiot_-" Alfred hissed, and was cut off by an indignant screech. Arthur stood up, towering over the other two.

"_I'll have you know, you ugly, evil piece of trash that we have been getting along famously, and "that war" has nothing to do with it_!" Arthur hissed, eyes glinting red. "_So I suggest you get out of this bloody house before I kill you_!"

"Ooh, I am so scared. What are you gonna do, force me to eat your _disgusting_ food?" Garrett was now standing up as well, leering down at the older country.

"You could have gotten him pregnant, and then someone would write a cheesy story about you two! As the representative of the United Kingdoms, I _refuse_ to let that happen again!"

"Wait- again? Artie, what the _actual hell_ are you talking about-?!" Alfred yelled, his voice drowned out by the other's screaming. "Would you two _please _shut up?!"

The room suddenly fell silent, the patriot and the Brit turned towards him. Alfred shuffled his feet nervously before standing up.

"_Keeping up with the Kardashians_ is on right now and I want to watch it. You can either get the hell out, or be civilized people and watch it with me." Alfred blurted out, crossing his arms. "Kim just got a kitten and I _want_ to see it."

"…fine." Arthur muttered, sitting back down on the couch. "-but only because I want to see how the Kardashian's are dealing with Kim's pregnancy."

"This show is very American…" Garrett sighed. "As a former patriot, I have a duty to watch this show."

"Kay, I'm going to go make some popcorn!" Alfred beamed, and flounced off into the kitchen. He was glad that operation "save-Betty-by-watching-the-Kardashians" had been a success.

* * *

An hour later all three males were curled up and now watching the first season of _Doctor Who_. Alfred was comfortably leaning on Garrett's shoulder, and the Brit's legs were splayed out on the vampire's lap.

"Even if this is a British show, it's still pretty awesome." Garrett complied grudgingly.

"Just wait until we watch Sherlock. You're going to just _adore _Benedict Cumberbatch." Arthur grinned.

Alfred rolled his eyes and smiled, glad that Arthur and Garrett were now getting along.

"Oi, stop kicking me old man."

"_Old man?! I dare you to repeat that, you insolent brat_!"

Well, at least sorta getting along.

* * *

I can see Alfred watching Keeping up with the Kardashians, can't you? And for all people who have no idea who those people are, be grateful xD I guess this is the last chapter, but please review/PM me if you insist on more Garrett/Alfred-ness. (Also, I wrote my first ever smut guys ;)

**I am currently looking for someone who is interested in Young Justice, Daddybats, or DC in general. I am going to be writing a YJ fic, and I need a beta! Please PM me if you're interested!**

-Nisa Keehl


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